When I am conscious of false personality, there seems to be a feeling of shame. Self observation of these false personality identities should be non-critical but shame seems to become strong during the initial shock of observing this false identity. How can I become more non-critical and objective during these moments?
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Thank you. What you have said gives me a deeper understanding and purpose in this particular experience and emotion.
Thank you Lori for replying. I have come across some real 'gems' so to speak since writing this post. Your comment of the 'deep despair' you feel when realizing you cannot hold onto this view of the divine created a realization within me. This realization is that this 'deep despair' is the correct vessel to receive this holy glimpse into the divine reality all around us!
The 'gem' I am referring to is like a chalice or receiving vessel of the Anointed One's Divine Love he wants to pour into. If we can accept the fact that we have a vast chasm of selfishness or darkness within, we can make this darkness into a chalice of reception of His Holy Love by just being conscious of it and observing it. It becomes a prayer or a nepsis practice.
If we can just expand our view of this dark chasm long enough through vigilant observation, in spite of the shame, I feel this is the prerequisite to receiving our true identity or Self Remembering and an Objective state of consciousness.
Just my thoughts as of late on this blessed journey back home.
In feeling shame, and in our awareness of it, we are also aware of the goodness and mercy of Christ. Due to, and because of the paradoxical nature of the work, we will see the dichotomy within ourselves... I try to let it serve as a signpost to myself to keep pointing me in the right direction. Unlike you, I have feelings of deep despair - not so much as when I observe my own false personality - but more so when I experience a clearer glimpse of the divine - or feel a deep sense of union with the Holy One... only to realize I can’t maintain that consciousness continuum. It makes me feel as if a vast cavern is separating me from the potentiality of what God will eventually deliver, my utmost for his Highest. It is almost unbearable. So unbearable, in fact, that it would crush me if I had to carry the weight of this knowledge. So, I realize that I have no other choice but to lay it at the foot of the cross. The contrast of who I am is,at times, like Moses coming from the mountain after seeing the burning bush only to return to see his people worshipping idols. That is my own inner struggle. I know only Jesus Christ can deliver me and therefore I try not to resist the feelings of shame and despair the come from observing my lower self but, instead, offer it up as a sacrifice and let Him wash over me in order to keep cleansing the inside of the cup. I was watching a video teaching by Ted called “On the Nature of God” when I read you forum post. (that is why I responded) God’s perfect timing, no doubt. It addresses your question. Ted states that it takes a lifetime of development and work to manifest the Supreme goodness of the Holy. Purification and self-awareness is what is required and what you are doing on your path. In our humility we must know this. So humility may be the key in the answer to your question. Even Paul saw this deficiency in himself. Our knowing and seeing makes our bond eternal. I really like this forum and enjoy reading Q and A’s. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.