New member...it's a miracle we're here

Dear Lori,

I am very grateful for your prayerful response and reflections.

I find when I post on this site, I have to draft the response in a text doc first…otherwise the program mixes the letters/words up and I have to rewrite the post.

I agree with you about suffering. For me, it nails me into the present moment, where I must feel the discomfort. The only escape is into the eternal, which I experience as Jesus, the Christ, who understands that deep pain which only he is capable of providing comfort for and a healing, if it be his Will. I have heard New Age teachers declare we no longer need to experience the Path of Suffering, but that has not been my experience. I agree with you about being silent as this process unfolds. When I was younger, I always fought any suffering that arrived at my door and was very vocal about why it shouldn’t be happening to “Me”! This time, I am paying very close attention and realize it has to happen this way.

Your knowledge of the aspects of the life and events of Jesus’ life speaks volumes as to the depths to which you have been driven into the heart of God as you experienced your own

form of fierce Grace. For me, I’m only beginning to see how this period is providing blessings and deepening my conscious awareness of God’s active presence in my life. Indeed, the deepest suffering is when I don’t feel the conscious connection with God and feel separate and apart from Source. On one video, Ted said the whole purpose of the Path is the acquisition of the Holy Spirit. I thought that was fantastic. That means I can channel my tendency of acquisitiveness towards gathering up the richness of the Holy Spirit.

My experience at the Orthodox Church was interesting. I went with the intention of paying attention, just as you pointed out to hear and see with my spiritual eyes and ears. And my egoic self had some observations. I decided ahead of time I would try it out, and most likely give it at least 3 times before any decision was made. The interior was beautiful and the chanting altered my sense of time. I heard the priest say several times during the service “Oh brothers and sisters, forgive me”. I also learned the word translated as “manger” actually is “cave”. So, Christ was most likely born in a cave, not a manger. The Sunday I went celebrated Saint Stephen, which my name is derived from. His story is very powerful in that he was instrumental in facilitating the conversion of Saul into Paul. My Ego noticed there was a lot of standing, which I conformed to, but did experience some fatigue from.

Upon reflection, I realized this is part of the discipline around taking the time in church seriously as a time with God and to not treat it in a trivial way. The Orthodox Church would never sanction drive through chapels or drive-in services. There were many things I learned there. I was a bit shy and left at the end, instead of interacting with others. I plan on going again and see how it goes.

I understand what you say about the Gurdjieff teachings. The esoteric Christian teachings are much more meaningful to me also. I also think that the Work language (false self, many “I” s, self-observation) gives us a way of speaking to one another where it clarifies exactly what we are referring to. Since we all study so many different aspects of development, it probably helps prevent misunderstandings and arriving at false assumptions about another’s process.

I love how you coined the expression “quantum God”. It really brings up powerful images.

Thank you for your kindhearted communication.

In Love and Light,

Stephanie